K.Blair &
Court Nolen
Orville Peck Gives Me Gender Envy and What the Fuck am I Supposed to Do with That?
The oldest trick in the book is that we don’t live like we used to
The needle drops me in a uniquely American landscape
I’ve never before coveted with the belief
That I am wounded by not receiving
Gift wrapped, into my hands
So that I may destroy the paper
Feverishly
Deliriously
I am not country, not that kind of country
Not masc, not masked, not glittering, not low voiced and sonorous
Darling, I’m just desperate for a body I do not have
It’s enough to make this young person cry
Rhinestone tears, wiped away with velvet gloves
I’m nobodies rodeo queen, nobodies show pony
If anybody comes to see me, tell them they just
Missed me by an hour or two
I promise I’m around here somewhere
Dust on my heels, brim of my hat tipped towards you
I don’t know how the song ends
The melody fades away and I’m still standing here
In quiet devastation, knowing this continues
Well beyond the final note.
Court Nolen (or @crvptozoology) is a digital mixed-media illustrator based in Portland, Maine. Their work focuses on people, and storytelling, with a particular interest in horror and queer identity. You can find them probably watching a horror movie, or at the local library.
K.Blair (they/she) is a member of London Queer Writers. Their favourite Orville Peck song is Queen of the Rodeo. She hopes to see him play live one day. Find her in the wild, on Twitter: @WhattheBlair, Instagram: @urban_barbarian, and their website, www.kblair.co.uk.
