Jo Koubek
On the days when I feel everything, I wish myself to nothing.
On the days when I feel everything,
I lift my chin up to the sky
to free my glands from touching my bones
and I trace the crease that emerges
on my neck from skin folding over
skin. I can feel the soft hair
that sits above my lip and my tongue
fits snug in my mouth, I wonder how
it doesn’t spill out through
the gaps between my teeth.
On the days when I feel everything,
I lay down on my bed, spread my body
across the sheets, lift up my chin,
open my mouth until everything is touching
nothing. If I let go, perhaps a tear
will wash an eyelash free, and I can grab it,
place it on the tip of my finger, to blow
and wish myself to nothing.
A Second Baptism
How easily your name changed,
a spelling error, a slip of the tongue,
a mistranslation, a Marie to a Mary.
The first time I uttered my new name,
was in the dim light of the bath.
I submerged my body in water,
in the name of the father,
and of the son, and of the holy spirit
and christened myself. Oh,
how did it feel on your tongue, Mary,
how did it sound to your ears, Mary,
how did it taste in your mouth, Mary?
For me, it was simply divine.
When the barista asks for my name, my mind thinks of anything else
how my nails are outgrown
how I don’t have enough lemon for tonight’s dinner
how dolphin’s have clitorises
how I don’t know what an NFT is
how I don’t really care to know what an NFT is
how no matter how many times I watch Star Wars I will never remember the planets’ names
how that name takes up so much room in my mouth in my brain in my ears
how so many people and animals and things are named by someone else
how precious it is that I named myself
how the name I hear myself speak
how the name the barista writes so elegantly on my cup
how the name that’s called to me from across the room
is the one I chose from all the rest
to be mine.
Jo Koubek (she/they) is a queer poet from Nebraska. They are a recent graduate of Northwestern University. They were accepted into Northwestern's selective English Creative Writing program, specializing in poetry. They now live in Kansas City, MO with their dog, Sophie.