mk zariel

signal to noise

in musings on the riot grrl movement and my own tears,
the way i feel inexplicably loved after you call me a freak
i wonder if i can be gay like a trend
and queer like a movement.


why are you gay if you're also trans?
asks an idiot:
i am alive in echos of the queerness that was
& every lesbian who's really just a girlboy
independent woman, transmasculine creature
or really just identifies as a problem:
why am i gay if i'm also queer?


why am i gay
, if to be gay is to admit
gender is real and and so are governments
or is there really any difference? why am i gay
if i also transgress? isn't Gay for 1950s archetypes
lesbians sheathed in dresses and respectability
no self-repect and swearing we're still normal
just not in this one specific way? and can
be queer with you in the rain and then take a break


& love tiktok and vintage clothes
& vibe to problematic artists who probably
say cancellable hateable things on social media
oh, & occasionally doomscroll social media? can i be gay like
a HypeTrain on Twitch, and queer like you decentralized


liberationist tendency,
and just as butch no matter what?
& love anarchy and futureless negation
& vibe to the sound of infighting
in the signal thread, &
still occasionally feel normal?

mk zariel (it/they, default to it/its) is a BashBack influenced transmasculine neuroqueer dyke anarchist. it organizes trans liberationist spaces across the great lakes region, performs spoken-word and theater, does graphic design for social movements, and vibes to classic queercore. it also hosts the podcast THE CHILD AND ITS ENEMIES (about anarchy in high school), writes for the Anarchist Review of Books, and writes the blog DEBATE ME BRO (a y2k style advice column about anarchy 101). its free-verse poetry is published (or forthcoming) in Unfuturing, Not Your Poster Child, Free Voice Revolution, What We Think About When We Think About Love, Chasing The Storm, The Insurgence, Anti-Misogyny Club, A Rose By Any Other Name, Suburban Witchcraft, Icebling, Midwestern Heat, HNDL Mag, Broken Teacup, The Periwinkle Pelican, The Nebula Journal, redrosethorns, miniMAG, and MyrtleHaus; its photography is featured in Coin Operated Press’s queer photography zine. it was a contributor to Communication Madison's art exhibition Let Me Tell You, a participant in Free Zine Week 2024, and collaborated with the artist f.f. kahani on an online mixed-media installation. it has presented on youth liberation at BashBack 2023, Smash By Smash West, Davidson Academy Online, Second Unitarian in Lakeview, and the SRSLY WRONG Discord Server. it is a moderator for the Spooky Specters and Chasing The Storm zines. hang out with mk on the big gay internet: https://linktr.ee/mkzariel