Hannah Pilgrim

If My Body Was A Lover’s

If my body was a lover’s
I would lay my head against his chest,
Run my fingers through his hair
And trace circles on his thighs.

I would drink in his naked form
And kiss along his jaw.
I would revel in his angles and edges,
And how it compliments my curves and elegance.

If my body was a lover’s I would love it,
But its not
and I don’t.

The Boy That I Wasn’t

Sometimes I think about the boy that I wasn’t
who insisted a little too loud, a little too often,
that makeup and dresses could be for boys,
who was saddened by missing the girl’s sleepovers
And stayed up all night wondering why he cared,
and what these thoughts were
And what these feelings meant and…

I wonder, what would he say if he could see me now?

Sometimes I miss him, it would be easier if I were him,
Other times I hate him,
The boy tugging at the bottom of my skirt and
though he haunts me still,
I’m glad that he is the ghost and not me-
the girl I have always been.

Hannah is a 21 year old trans student from the UK. Her writings explore gender, self love and lots more besides. Hannah’s work has recently appeared in Lavender Lime Literary Magazine. More of her writing can be found on Instagram and Twitter @hannahsswords.