ichor coated teeth - trans and unholy 

I am 
c r a w l i n g o u t o f m y s k i n 
grave dirt and coffin wood 
I know they're not listening when I tell them 
there is no g
o
d 
waiting for me 
dear grandmother, your daughter bore a c r e a t u r e
made of metal chippings and all of your fears
you tried to make me something h o l y
by pouring baptized water down my throat 
but I've always been a -> fire thing 
and it just tastes like vodka to me 

you're not a r e a l boy, Pinocchio! 
and I'm more b o n e than flesh 
hard and full of h o l e s 
my body whistles 
when the wind blows 
unreal I fli/cke/r between forms unfit verisimilitude
fluid/solid/gas, gender made -> sex made -> paradox
I take your p r e t o
e c p i n of me 
and make it steel 
break your t e e t h on me 

but I am not real until not looked at 
Schrödingers cat got nothing on me 
don't look at me don't look at me don't look at m e
I am the soil/I am the house /I am the ghost haunting it
dead heart dead kid dead dreams still b r e a t h i n g
I am chewing on my own brain 
grasping my own shoulders and 
s-h-a-k-i-n-g-m-e 
gritting teeth and s t r a n g l i n g the sickness 
I'm trying to sew shut the h o l e in my chest
cross my heart and hope to die 
I can't stand the f e e l of my own skin 
they pulled out my t e e t h and they grew back b
ichor turned blood I tongue at bone r
I swallow mouth/fulls of copper/coins i
mirrors show me a face I don't recognize t
all I see is blown eyes and bottom less hunger t
they kept telling me angel thing, sing a tune for us l
blonde little child, curls around a cherubim face e
I open my mouth and scream 
got no use for a pretty face and holy voice 
come and look at them trying/to/touch 
and watch me 
d e v o u r t h e h a n d s t h a t f e e d